I hope I am spending my money well ....on wellness

So I hope I have not fallen for something I shouldn't have- something that costs thousands of dollars. It's called a "wellness program". Geared for the post-menopausal woman- seems we all suffer the same symptoms- and this guy can fix us. Did I say, he can fix us for "thousands of dollars"? The first day I had second thoughts, yes, the money.....but also because I had to do four saliva spits at exact times to submit by UPS to some lab somewhere. They were spits to test my cortisol and other hormone levels, including testosterone (which makes sense because the first foul a.m. spit is what they test what I imagine to be foul-smelling testosterone on) and whew....spitting at 6 a.m.....no coffee, in fact, no caffeine the whole day! I waited for that horrifying headache, but guess what? I never had a headache. I think because I drank CRAZY WATER all day, I was fine. It takes at least 45 minutes to spit into a vial and fill it up. But I did get to watch "Breaking Bad" while I was spitting.

I saw the Moon and the Moon saw me......

Recently on one hot night in Cuba, I was walking in Havana down a cobblestone street that led to the ocean. On that night the Super Moon was hovering what seemed like only inches above the water. I felt small in such a backdrop, the tiniest of creations on the planet. Feeling small and unimportant gave me a sense of freedom. I felt safe, but knew that the water could rise and take me away in a second, that I would be powerless against a rising tide. I got an earworm, too- the song from the musical "Carousel"- you know the one, that Billy Bigelow sang to Julie- "we're two little people, you and I, and we don't count at all." I heard that song first when I was small, and now, in Havana, small again, it came to me under the Super Moon that night. And maybe the song didn't really mean what I thought about next, but....nevertheless.... Accepting what "is"- when we're small it's easier. There is only so much we can affect. What I cannot change, what I cannot influence, what I have no control over, should not be on my mind at all. Worrying about what I cannot control or change is an earworm of another kind, a thief in the dark night, carving pathways in my brain that are driving to defeat me daily. If the waters rise, if the sun bears down, I'd better just get out of the way.

Ubuntu and Gore Vidal

Desmond Tutu once explained that Africans have a thing called ubuntu. "We believe that a person is a person through other persons. That my humanity is caught up, bound up, inextricably, with yours. When I dehumanize you, I dehumanize myself. The solitary human being is a contradiction in terms. Therefore you seek to work for the common good because your humanity comes into its own in community, in belonging." There is always room at the top. We are here to make each other happy, to lift each other up. To make the world a better place. To cheer each other on, hoping for the greatest success for the other. On the other hand, there's that famous Gore Vidal saying....'whenever a friend succeeds, a little part of me dies.' I think I might live somewhere in the middle.

Started a new production company in three minutes .....

About a year ago I hired a coach to help me get on track, set goals, and work on building a career in the arts. I needed someone to hold me accountable because I am a procrastinator. For the first few months he instructed me to set an alarm for one hour and write. Eventually he instructed me to set aside five hours each Saturday morning and go to "work". Recently he instructed me to make a list of everything I wanted to do and START working on them, for three minutes at a time. You want to read more? Read one page. Takes about three minutes. You won't stop. Soon you are reading. Even the things you don't want to do....get them over with! You want to run? Put on running shoes, get out the door, takes three minutes. You might as well at least walk somewhere. You want to clean your house? Three minutes to sweep. Three minutes to load the dishwasher....and on and on. So in increments of three minutes I was instructed by my coach to start ACTIVELY living my dreams. So yes, I started a production company in three minutes when I got a domain name. You see my friend, Lisa, and I decided that we wanted to self-produce a web series that would give us a chance to shine as writers and actors- the primary goal being that we would get enough material to produce a reel for our agents. So we went out for happy hour and brain stormed a few times, finally landing on the perfect idea for us. We put the word out to our pals and on social media, and by the end of the day we had the director we want, the editor, a domain, and the first meeting planned. The meeting included four hours of intense, hilarious, invigorating brainstorming and snacks. Deadlines for scripts, set ups to interview crew, and we are on our way. Oh, yes, putting some money into it to start the whole ball rolling. Now we are setting goals to do a whole web series- with the dream of selling it and actually moving forward to bigger production goals. Makes the work day at the day job almost worth it, right?